The setting for ghost stories was perfect: rain pelted down from a dark sky, a wind shivered into our spines, the expectations of the tour was high  - but unfortunately they would not be met. Melbourne is a city with an interesting history, with some stories of gore suitable for an Underbelly episode, but its supernatural presence depicted in this tour was far from Paranormal Activity.

The tour group was comprised of mostly ghost believers from age 12 and up who listened in awe as the tour guide Johnny told us of the old fisherman’s ghost on Platform 7 at Flinders Street Station, the tale of the tragic end of the beautiful Chloe and of prostitutes from the early 1900s who haunted rooms on Bourke Street. There was mention of ghost hunters and orbs captured in photographs; we were encouraged to take photos in a believed haunted spot. Although Johnny did tell the stories in a serious manner they often ended with him cracking jokes. It was obvious he was more of a cynic; there was more laughter on the tour than any sense of horror or fear.

The group were led through alleyways and backstreets in Melbourne’s CBD to create a more intimate setting, but the city’s drunken crowds (it was a Saturday night), trams and traffic would at times drown out Johnny’s stories, and in turn, probably scared away any ghosts. It did feel more like a walking history lesson than a fun night out. The tour did, however, strip away some of the glamour of modern Melbourne as Johnny reminded us of the realities of luxuries we take for granted – like our sewers.

Overall, the Old Melbourne Ghost Tour was far from a paranormal adventure, and ended as a mediocre night of history – with that said, this is definitely suitable for families looking for something educational. (Remember to wear comfortable shoes. There’s a lot of walking.)

The Old Melbourne Ghost Tour has now finished its run as part of the Melbourne Fringe but continues to run tours at various times throughout the year. Check out their website for more information.

What makes people become racist? Is it ok to be a little bit racist? And are penguin analogies the answer to solving world racism? Xavier Toby, general nice guy, seems to think so and uses puns and one-liners to back up his opinions and research on evolution.

Standing in front of the Lithuanian Club audience, Toby is part comedian, part preacher, who is genuinely concerned about some Australians’ attitudes towards race. Toby uses his two groups of friends to generalise the everyday Australian, coming to the conclusion that Australians are either racist bogans or anti-racist hipsters who can’t take a joke – two extreme groups that are only united by their love for IKEA and tattoos.

White Trash is thought-provoking, especially regarding the media’s use of hyperbole when reporting asylum seekers and other current affairs, but some of Toby’s arguments against racism can become ranty, often with a cheap joke tacked to the end for a quick laugh, or lead off into unrelated tangents.

The uncertainty in White Trash is with Toby himself. He doesn’t seem comfortable in his comedy persona, and it’s hard to pin-point who he aims to be; at 35 years of age Toby seems unsure whether he is the swearing, smutty young bloke or a dork with Dad-like humour. There is an obvious conflict between the two, almost like there are two different comedians on stage -yet it is Toby’s goofy character which comes through to the audience as more honest and funny. The audience can relate to the self-confessed jasmine tea lover, a single man who loves kids and has a passion for standing up for penguins.

Toby’s take on racism is intelligent but the balance between the information and humour was a bit skewiff. Overall, it is a great show to test your racist mates’ beliefs at and chat about later at the pub.

Xavier Toby – White Trash has finished its run at the Fringe Festival. More information on Xavier Toby’s future projects can be found on his website.

6ft Fairy’s Birthday Surprise is a weird and wacky experience you’ll be unlikely to forget anytime soon. The 6ft fairy is the voluptuous Ivanna – a children’s party entertainer with a Russian lilt who tells overtly sexual jokes – and for her 40th birthday Ivanna’s friends Doctor Funkenstein (a dreadlocked, rubber-gloved scientist) and the rainbow-mohawked DJ My-T-Jaxx decide to throw her a birthday surprise party.

The audience are the party guests and, without warning, they are thrown into an odd and random world, where really anything can happen – and does. In the opening scene we are confronted by Ivanna’s large bare breasts as she dresses herself, but that is just the very beginning of the show’s awkwardness. If you don’t like audience participation then it’s best to give this one a miss.

There is forced ‘spontaneous party dancing’ to cheesy pop music, children’s party games which involved some strange ‘cock-fighting’ , crude jokes regarding sex with circus performers and a man dressed as a nun singing about ‘foetal attraction.’ The jokes are not for the faint-hearted, and often had me laughing and groaning at the same time. This show is for people who get a kick out of black and sexual humour.

With its shonky plot and very intimate nature 6ft Fairy’s Birthday Surprise is hilarious and embarrassing. With an audience united by matching dorky party hats, the night I attended was reminiscent of plays your siblings may have made you watch in the lounge room – but with very adult content. The show had great possibility, and it is all in good fun, but at a very sober family starting time of 7.30pm it had more of an up-late, drunken, avant-garde feel about it. It is one of the most unusual parties you may go to this year. (And, yes, there is cake.)

6ft Fairy’s Birthday Party Surprise runs until October 12 at Bridie O’Reilley’s Irish Pub. Tickets are $16 full-price and $12 concession (group tickets are $12 per person for 4 people).

“I could do that” is the usual scoff quickly followed by a jaw-dropping reaction to the price. Yet time and time again, the general public is proven wrong about the significance and beauty of abstract art. Blue Poles by Jackson Pollock anyone? That turned out to be a good investment?

Richard Valeros is only a newborn to the world of abstract art, Aqueous – Nature’s Elements is his second solo exhibition since ditching a career in illustration and design. Despite his lack of experience in abstract Valeros’s pieces are far from amateur and convey an incredible amount of beauty and talent. Aqueous –Nature’s Elements contains twenty pieces all in the medium of acrylic on large canvases. Valeros’s art will beckon you to get your sea legs out and journey into the depths of the sea.

Valeros is not shy with his paintbrush, in “The Wave” he paints with bold hues of cool blues with lashings of white paint to create the splashing of turbulent waves. Yet when viewing the pieces up close the amount of fine detail Valeros has used can be seen – details which almost make your lips sting with sea-salt. There are subtle changes in paint tones and unique techniques such as one where he has used the back of his paintbrush to carve out layers of the paint, revealing the raw white canvas underneath.  Valeros’s background in illustration is evident in the piece “Water lilies,” although it is less abstract the aqua and seaweed green strokes tell a story that could easily be attached to a mermaid’s folklore.

If you’re getting a bit sea-sick, it’s perhaps time to stumble back onto dry land with Valeros’s abstract pieces from 2010 which are also on display. These paintings are distinctively different to Aqueous-Nature’s Elements as the focus is the Australian outback painted with warm reds – it makes you feel the crackling of heat in the summer-time.

Aqueous – Nature’s Elements is worth a visit. So, why not defy the scoffers and support Melbourne’s abstract artists?

The show opens with quirky Ward dressed like an elf in “hymen-restricting” shorts belting out a Christmas show-tune that quickly gets the audience laughing in hysterics. The potty-mouthed Ward sings to the audience, “If you don’t like games you’ll hate this shit. If you don’t even like me what the fuck are you doing here?”

Luckily for Ward the audience are good-natured and happy to play along to Ward’s hilarious games which range from pirate jokes, sharing Christmas stories, to an older lady joyfully recreating a lap-dance while role-playing a family Christmas at the Ward’s house. A note of warning: if you’re not into audience interaction stay clear of the front row.

Ward is like a naughty child trapped in a woman’s body, she’s outrageous,  friendly and a bit of a dork who takes advantage of the fifty-two seat theatre’s intimate-feel. Ward divides the show up with special guests providing more Christmas cheer for the audience while “subtly” self-promoting their own Fringe shows. The guests do not always easily fit into Ward’s Christmas Special, such as The Lithuanian Acapella folk group, but they do never-the-less impress with their amazing lagerphone.

Without giving too much away, the best part of the night is when Ward and the audience play a game called: “When does a fart stop being funny?” involving carol-singing and Shane from the Umbilical Brothers.  To find out the answer you’ll just have to attend the show yourself.

Ward’s Christmas Special is a “joygasm” that will put you in the mood for Christmas.