Scott Collins is your run of the mill, modern-day Lothario: panting, awkward, persistent and forever aroused. Kissing and F*%king Up is an insight into the romantic anecdotes that have made this man. Written while living as an expat in London, the autobiographical script was initially a way for Collins to expose, acknowledge and hopefully learn from all of his passionate highs and lows with an array of lucky ladies. Putting a spin on the traditional soliloquy though, 11 unidentified actors (both male and female) take turns at becoming Scott; standing suddenly to confess a variety of sordid tales, from love lost to lust barely remembered.
An early warning: I wouldn’t bring your grandma. Right from the opening tale of an all-too-familiar night out spent following the apple of Scott’s libido from club to club in the hopes of a carnal conclusion, it is quickly apparent that Kissing and F*%king Up will leave nothing sacred. This is a confession of sorts and Scott has put his heart, and indeed another organ, on the line.
Scott is somewhat of a romantic, but he’s also a pubescent male – his conquests range from classmates to colleagues and from strangers to strange. But the stories should be familiar to most of us; waking up with naked anons in your bed; lusting for years over that one girl at school; fantasising about what coulda/woulda/shoulda been with that someone that one time – and it’s that familiarity that makes the highs so high and the lows so low. We’ve been there, and we remember how uncomfortable and alluring and devastating it all was.
The script and the performers are funny in their vulgarity, but there are moments of genuine sweetness too. Falling in love for the first time, and the bitter and inevitable end, show us that Scott isn’t all devirginising and wrong holes. Our Romeo is vulnerable, and that vulnerability is hopelessly charming.
The communal but intimate setting of Kissing and F*%king Up intentionally evokes the familiar scenario of a friend telling you a story. It brings the audience inside Scott’s world. You’re his buddy and his confidante; you care. And perhaps the most unique thing about this performance and its 11 actors sitting with you in that bar, is that you never know which person in the room is going to jump up and be Scott next. It could be anyone in there. It could almost be you.
Kissing and F*%king Up shows 6, 10 & 12 October at various bars across Melbourne. Tickets are $15 full-price and $10 concession.
